My mom was the head chef in our home when I was young, but every now and then my dad would hunt pheasant. This meant that in addition to helping him clean the birds in the garage (ew), we had the pleasure (ahem) of eating pheasant stew prepared by my dad. It’s just as gamey, err…good, as it sounds. For awhile, my dad’s cooking was as courageous as I got with my eating, but eventually, especially once I was in college, I got more adventurous. I sampled sushi, gorged Thai curries, and devoured Indian tikka masala (there were also those ill-advised Hot Pockets before a three-hour class…). During my time studying abroad in Spain, I tried pulpo (octopus) for the first time and learned to love dipping French fries in mayonesa. Later, I had bone marrow during a fine dining experience in Northern California (can’t say I’ve had a hankering for it again, though).
The real push into adventurous eating happened while living abroad in Japan. We ate at yakiniku restaurants where we ordered raw meat from a Japanese menu and hoped for the best while we cooked it ourselves, wondering at times what exactly was sizzling on the tabletop grill. Eel, quail eggs, and pastries stuffed with red bean paste were common menu offerings. Although I loved exploring Japan through its food, I drew the line at raw horse meat. I did try kangaroo pizza while on vacation in Australia, and seeing the cutie marsupials at a nature reserve later that week felt a little…awkward.
A friend recently posed the question: What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve eaten? I didn’t know how to answer. Pheasant was out of my comfort zone as a kid, but eating takoyaki (minced octopus balls) didn’t seem strange while living in East Asia. Sometimes the adventure was found in the type of thing I was eating, sometimes it was which part of that thing, how it was cooked, or how far up the spiciness scale I was willing to travel. And sometimes it just depended on the season of my life.
Last week Sweet T and I visited the local library. We got in line to return our books behind a family with three young kids and the mom apologized as soon as we walked up, offering to let us skip ahead of them because they might take awhile. I assured her it it was no problem to wait and thought about how some days, just getting my kids dressed and out the door feels like an adventure. Sometimes getting through dinner or emptying my first-grader’s backpack feel like epic quests. But memories and my iPhone photo roll tell me it wasn’t always this way, and eating isn’t the only area of my life in which my sense of adventure has changed depending on the season.
In the not-too-distant past, I hiked Mt. Fuji with Kyle. We flew to Australia with two little kids and snorkeled at the Great Barrier Reef in matching wetsuits. We explored National Parks and traversed trails with babies strapped to our backs. And we embarked on our greatest adventure–having three kids–all while living away from family and moving every couple of years. It wasn’t always easy, but it definitely was exciting. Now, adventurous feels like leaving the house without a Pull-Up for the toddler or handing him a cup of milk without a lid on it. Daring feels like strolling the aisles of Target with all three children on a Saturday morning. Pre-kid Melissa would’ve laughed at the thought of this being adventurous, but I had no idea what awaited me. Adventures are relative.
Fugu, or blowfish, is a delicacy in Japan. Fugu is supposed to be incredibly delicious, but eating it could be dangerous since its insides contain a deadly neurotoxin. Chefs in Japan have to have special training and licenses to prepare and serve fugu because of the risks involved in consuming it, and in the “choose your own adventure” book that is life, eating blowfish is a page I skipped over completely. Wondering if that tingly sensation on my lips is also going to cause my heart to stop beating is an experience I just don’t need to have. Maybe when I’m 90 I’ll feel differently. Maybe not. Maybe getting out of the house to run errands while feeling a little down is the most brave, bold thing I could do right now. Maybe living an adventurous life is having the courage to pause a career and take on the role of ringmaster of a chaotic, in-home circus. Maybe the emotional cliffs of marriage and parenting are the most adventurous terrain I’ll hike in my lifetime.
We’ve lived in our home for nine months now and don’t anticipate moving for a very long time. After spending the last decade on the move and roaming the world, the very thing we had yearned for—settling in one place—can feel a bit boring and anti-climactic. But I keep thinking about the closing lines of the classic 1991 movie “Hook”:
Granny Wendy: So…your adventures are over.
Peter: Oh, no. To live…to live would be an awfully big adventure.
An awfully big adventure, indeed.
In Case You Missed It
a few things I wrote…
Tell Me What You Need This essay was originally published in The MOPS Magazine back in 2021, but I recently shared it on my blog. It’s about making time for something I love and finding my way back to myself just a little bit through words.
A Body I Can’t Trust A post about loving my body in all its iterations, even when it might betray me at any second.
Midnight Scream This poem was inspired by the deadly shooting on the campus of my alma mater, Michigan State University, on February 13.
Books I enjoyed:
Everything Sad is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri
Khousrou (a.k.a. Daniel) was born in Iran but had to leave with his mother and sister. They eventually immigrate to Oklahoma, where life is challenging in new ways. Daniel is a storyteller, and this autobiographical novel grapples with the definition of truth and how we decide what to believe. A gripping, entertaining, unique read for both YA and adult readers full of heart and hope.
All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir
Noor and Salahudin have been friends for as long as they can remember, but their friendship is tested by The Fight, the declining health of Misbah (Salahudin's mother), and the hidden things that haunt them. Friendship, family, faith, and forgiveness are all at the forefront of this beautiful YA contemporary novel, told through multiple perspectives across generations. Tahir writes about difficult content, including addiction and abuse, but her words hold it all with the utmost care. I felt the full spectrum of emotions reading this heart-wrenching story, and the way Tahir creates tension made it hard to put down.
Books I’m looking forward to:
Did you know that pre-orders are really important to authors, as they indicate excitement about the book to retailers and consumers? Pre-orders also count toward first-week sales and can help determine placement on bestseller lists. If there’s a book you’re excited about, consider pre-ordering from your favorite independent bookstore so you can support the author and a local retailer at the same time.
The Beauty of Motherhood: Grace-Filled Devotions for the Early Years by Kim Knowle-Zeller and Erin Strybis (Release Date: March 21, 2023)
I’m wholly biased, but I know this one is going to be wonderful. My friends Kim and Erin are both thoughtful, encouraging writers, and they teamed up to write this book of devotions about early motherhood. Order for yourself or for a friend with young children.
You Could Make This Place Beautiful: A Memoir by Maggie Smith (Release Date: April 11, 2023)
Maggie Smith’s poems take my breath away, and I can’t wait to read her memoir, which I imagine will be as lyrical, moving, and meaningful as her poetry.
Create Anyway: The Joy of Pursuing Creativity in the Margins of Motherhood by Ashlee Gadd (Release Date March 28, 2023)
Ashlee is the founder of Coffee + Crumbs and the Exhale community for mothers pursuing creativity. Joining Exhale a few years ago was a turning point for me as a writer; it pushed me to improve my craft, embrace the challenges of trying to balance motherhood with creativity, and find the courage to take myself more seriously as a writer. I know her words will speak deeply to this and more.
Journal Prompt/Reflection:
Define “adventure” in your own words.
Using your definition from above, describe an adventure you had in the last year.
List some of the adventurous foods you’ve tried in your lifetime. Go back and see if you can remember where and who you were at the time you tried them.
“Maybe the emotional cliffs of marriage and parenting are the most adventurous terrain I’ll hike in my lifetime.” LOVE this and the reflections in your essay. Also, lol, the Hook reference made me giggle. When my dad took me to see it in theaters, I ran out, screaming, terrified as it opened with Smee saying “Hook, Hook..” To this day, I think of it as a scary movie! 🤣